♥ Gossip Girl ♥

♥ Friday, February 27, 2009 ♥

Hey people,
after 1 whole night of coach training from
730pm last night to 630am this morning

really sort out my thoughts.

=)

This time Pete did not use the star player approach but instead use a

physocological hypnotherapy
on me which works

TOTALLY....

=)

I can relate whatever he said to me totally &
that it would be good if i were to go for 7 path & do u think i should?

7th path is like

SELF-HYPNOTHERAPY

As u know very well that i used to be what kind of person....
i think it will benefit me a lot if i were to attend it

& that E 20 YRS OF

PATTERN

IN ME WILL REALLY CHANGE FOR THE BETTER.....

After the intensive training, i realise that i'm not as good as i think i always r....

& I BELIEVE I CAN

CHANGE INTO A MUCH BETTER PERSON

FROM TODAY ONWARDS

that's right....

=)

& THAT I'LL DO MY

BEST

TO ALWAYS PUT MYSELF

IN ANOTER PERSON'S 2ND POSITION SO AS TO SEE

FROM E OTHER PERSON'S POINT OF VIEW

which i always thought i did but in fact i did not,

i always thought that i'm the considerate 1 but

in ACTUAL FACT I'M NOT

DEEP DOWN INSIDE ME ALTHOUGH I CAN

FEEL

AS A 2ND POSITION FROM

ANOTHER PERSON'S POINT OF VIEW

BUT I ALWAYS CHOOSE TO

DISASSOCIATE

FROM THEM WHICH I

THOUGHT

I ALWAYS PUT MYSELF IN

OTHER PEOPLE'S SHOES BUT IN FACT I DID NOT

I realise that there is a lot of

good role-models

around me such as

eLaiNe,

MiNg ZhEn,

sU Mei,

JoHaNna

ESPECIALLY MY MOTHER

WHO IS THE BEST ROLE MODEL

IN EVERYTHING SHE DOES,

HOW SHE HANDLES EVERYTHING,

HOW SHE ALWAYS SEE

FROM A 2ND POINT OF VIEW,

HOW WELL SHE HANDLE ALL THE

CHALLENGES

WHICH WERE PUSHED TO HER...

IN ACTUAL FACT,

SHE IS THE STRONGEST

&

THE BEST MOTHER I'VE EVER HAVE...

thus,

I HAVE TO APPRECIATE HER EVEN MORE,

MUCH MORE

THAN HOW I APPRECIATED HER IN E PAST,

THE WAY I TALK TO HER,

THE WAY I APPROACH HER

NO MATTER HOW NAGGY SHE IS TO ME

CAUSE OF HER HIGHEST POSITIVE INTENTION

CAUSE EVENTUALLY MOTHERS

ALWAYS

WANT THE

BEST

FOR THEIR CHILDREN

REGARDLESS OF WHAT ASPECTS

&

WHAT AREAS &

WOULD LIKE THEM TO BE THE

BEST AMONG THE BEST

=)

3 words 1 meaning iloveyou :D

8:11 PM

♥ Thursday, February 26, 2009 ♥

what i should focus now is really my

STUDIES

as mab test is next tues

=)

w/o realising i've managed to overcome e

hmt test, hrm assignment & mp test within 1 wk

great isit it?

i thought i would

COLLAPSE

but i didnt & that i decided to be single

also doesnt puts a burden on me & instead

LIGHTEN

my load.

i know that it's not nice to say that u finally freed me

cause it'll sound bad when other people sees but that's how i feel honestly & that this is my blog

so i can write whatever i feel like writing,

in a way actually i'm quite good

not to pen down e unhappy moments i had with u

but of course we do have happy moments too...

What i feel like doing now is to

CONCENTRATE

on my MAB & do well for the test.

E other part of me would like to ENJOY myself totally for example go

DANCING, SINGING...

when did i last club?

=p

i'm actually not a clubber but some1 who likes to

DESTRESS

through external means heex...

talking also destressess me in a way...

=p

Anyway i guess i'm still not ready for a rs

cause

i still needs to

SETTLE

my own stuffs 1st

ESPECIALLY

my own WELL-BEING...

heex...

some people might think i'm crazy but i

REALLY

need a break away fr

RS

I'VE BEEN IN 4 RS

& THAT I NV REGRET ANY SINGLE RS

IT'S JUST THAT AS ONE NURTURES

HE/SHE WOULD EXPECT DIFF THINGS FR E OTHER PARTNER

=)

& ALWAYS REM I'M SOME1 WHOP THINKS A LOT

TT'S E SILLY ME...

HEEX...

=p

Kies...feel much better after blogging le so can go study mab le

;)

Anyway i really need to go zhen jiu my shoulder.

they r breaking into brittles soon...

haas...

=p

3 words 1 meaning iloveyou :D

5:31 PM

♥ ♥

Pls stop asking about who i like etc...
i know u r concern about me but i'll let u know when e time is right.
stop asking & telling me what to do...
i'm 22 this year & that i know what i'm doing so pls stop everything...
even my mother does'nt probe me about anything...
thx

As i've said below, i know what kind of guy that i want to have as a bf
& that i'm a perfectionist so i would want him to change
to e better even if he's very good already...

ok i shall list down what characteristics i would like him to have:

Able to satisfy my emotional needs meaning just show me care & concern verbally,just a short msg like how's your day, i think it's quite simple right?
I want us to be able to communicate. I want him to understand why do I do such stuffs & that I do not need to explain why did i do such stuffs =)
I need someone to be there for me when i need him like he'll pick up my call immediately when i call or reply my sms as quick as possible. =)
I need someone to be able to fill in my blanks for eg if i have conflict in settling my stuffs. I hope he can help me to resolve.
I need someone who is able to InDuCe me when i'm stressed or having headache.
I need someone who can always entertain & make me happy =)
All along I thoguht looks really matters a lot to me but i find that e similarities & emotional attachment btwn us surpuse looks. I will have a really hard time if u r very handsome but your character & emotional attachment dont lead me to anywhere...
& I realise that there is some1 whom fits all the category.
Lastly, I want him to change all my weaknessess into strengths if possible... =)

Actaully both of us do have mutual feelings for each other,
however...TIMe WiLL TeLL...
u need time to remove e guilt fr u & i need time to nuture so let's give each other more time to make sure that if both of us r e right 1 for each other
=)
anyway he's a pices & i'm a virgo
so
1 is idealist & i'm perfectionist
most ppl might not believe in horoscope including me but
AcTIoNS SpEaKs LoUdEr ThAn WoRdS...
=)

Labels: iT's aLwYS gD tO NuTuRe nO MaTtEr HoW GooD u R... =)

3 words 1 meaning iloveyou :D

6:08 AM

♥ Wednesday, February 25, 2009 ♥

Hey people,

I'm SiNgLe

&

i'M LoViNg iT...

It has been

so long ever since i feel e FrEeDoM...

ThAnKs a LoT mY DeAr

FoR FrEe-InG Me....

HoPe U r CoPiNg WeLL

WiTh EvErYtHiNg iN nS...

=)

& I've NeVeR

ReGrEt

bEiNg iN a rS WiTh u...

ThANkS FoR MakInG Me

GrOw iN ThiNkINg,

ChanGiNg HaBiT,

sLiGhTLy MoRe InDePeNdENt,

MoRe DOMiNoOrInG,

SMArTeR iN SoMe WaYs,

i'M ReALLy GrAtEfuL

FoR EvErThInG tHaT

wE HaVe ThRoUGh

=)

I DiDnt InTeNd

tO LeAve U

OuT oF a SuDdEn

BuT I SuDdEnLy

JuSt ReaLiSe

WhAT KiNd oF bF

i wLd Lk tO HaVe

& ThAT iT'LL bE

VeRy TiriNg

FoR u tO KeEp CHanGINg

FoR mE aLtHoU

U've ChaNGe a LoT tO e BeTtEr

& i'M VeRy HaPpy FoR u...

=)

CaUSe oF mY ExPeCtAtiOn

CaUSe i'M a PeRFeCtiOnISt

i'M sO SoRrY AbOuT THiS...

=)

SuPpOsiNgLy 5 GuYs Lk mE

CuRrEnTLy oR

ThAT i'M JuST ThInkiNG tOo MuCh...

=)

JuST Lk the movie

"hE's JuSt NoT iNtO u..."

=)

iT's oK La...

i'M FiNe WiTh iT ANyWaY...

=)

I TaKe rS iN a

VeRy OpEn MaNnEr

sO iF GuYs tT

i Lk DoEsnT Lk mE

i'LL JuSt MoVe oN

tO e NeXt PeRsOn.

i'M ReaLLy gLaD tO KnoW u

& I ReALLy EnJoY e SuPPeRs

wE HaD & e TiMeS wE pLayEd TeNniS...

I HoPe ThAT shE's e RiGhT 1 FoR U

& ThAT EvErYThInG WiLL TuRn OuT GrEAt

=)

3 words 1 meaning iloveyou :D

2:49 AM

♥ Saturday, February 21, 2009 ♥

What's e problem man...

even e blogger website is going agnst me...

i just want to blog my dear...

can just show e words nicely....?

thanks a lot...

=)

just feel very tired....

actaully i'm kind of

scared

when u tell me that u want to

talk

about us this morning cause

i dont know

what u want to talk about & that whenever

u say such things i'll start to feel e

FeAr....

maybe cause i dont know what u r going to talk about & that i'm

scared that i dont know how to react....

=)

guess my expectations for u r too high...

=)

it's ok... i'll wait for that

DaY

for u to change

HoPeFuLLy u'll

change

& that i'll

wait

for u to change

no matter

what...

=)

maybe cause i cant

bear

to

let go

this 5 yr rs....?

=)

okies...that's all folks

nth much to write le

=)

3 words 1 meaning iloveyou :D

6:29 PM

♥ ♥

I HaTe to be so emo...
With that thing & assignments & tests...
I suddenly start to think that i need someone to be there for me at this moment....
I just need u to be there for me

To show more concern towards me through words...
as simple as this...
Perhaps I need someone who prefers to be a feeler rather than a thinker most of the times...
I'm just feeling lethargic that's all...
& I'm someone who can be easily pleased....
isit good or bad...?
=)
Anyway, maybe because of my change makes me
know
what I am looking for in U....
=)
U said u wanted to talk about
us
morning & that u will reach my house at 10am
hopefully u r on your way to my house if not i'm also ok with it...

too used to it already...

=)
just feel very tired....

actaully i'm kind of

scared

when u tell me that u want to

talk

about us this morning cause

i dont know

what u want to talk

about & that

whenever

u say such things i'll start to feel e

FeAr....

maybe cause
i dont know

what u r going to talk about &

that i'm

scared

that i

dont know

how to react....

=)

guess my

expectations

for u r too high...

=)

it's ok...

i'll

wait

for that

DaY

for u to

change

HoPeFuLLy

u'll

change

& that i'll

wait

for u to change no matter

what...

=)

maybe

cause

i cant bear

to let go this 5 yr rs....?

=)

okies...that's all folks

nth much to write le

=)

3 words 1 meaning iloveyou :D

6:08 PM

♥ Thursday, February 19, 2009 ♥

*Beware* It's going to be a VERY LONG entry...heex...what our MAster Coach,Pete emailed all the coaches. AM I aloow to post this in my blog? Will Pete scold mew if I post his email here? Isit consider Plagerism? Heex... =p But i don't care. Learn from him. Haas...Sometimes it's good to learn e bad things..heex.. =p

What Pete emailed to all the coaches below...Maybe after reading this entry you will feel like attending PAtterns oF Excellence Module 1 so that u will grow from there....believe me that's what I did & it helped. Believe it or not =) Caoching brings u up to even a higher level... =)

Ultimately, at the end of this all, I leave it to the team to decide, like I have always done.

Some of you wrote...well I read it out loud to myself and thought I will be kinda offended if I was some of the people out there. I will brush it aside if I am one of those experienced coaches who have nothing more else to learn from coach training and think it's time for them to relax and they can just come by during POE and be able to make an impact. Some of these friends come by and get rudely shocked by how some of the newer coaches are doing things better or doing things just as they should but seemingly so effortlessly. They tell stories about how tough coach training was and how Pete was so much more of a Bastard back then. They say how come the discipline is so...what you call that....slack maybe?

Well I thought maybe it's a good time for these people to come in and mentor/guide the new people and learn a thing or two about how to transfer the stuff they learnt. See from a meta-perspective how you can be an invisible force to influence change in coaches, participants and trainers alike :-)

Oh yes a lot of you are as competent as a coach should be, no doubt about it, so you come in and watch from a distance and shake your head knowingly (or pretend at least :-P) about the missed opportunities that some of your coaching friends had to impact their participants. Some of you might be thinking: "I wish I had the same passion (and ignorance?) to commit my time and sacrifice my rest and sleep. My days are over, it's time for them to suffer."

Some of you hung around and have no significant improvements over the years.. Some have been missing for a long time and bless these guys for pursuing a rich and bountiful life they have enriched our lives in ways we will never know fully. Some became disillusioned coz behind the glamour of wearing that black t-shirt that marked you a coach is a bunch of arduous tasks of unlearning, adjusting, stretching,etc etc. It's committing 4 nights for training and 4 days for coaching. Many books are recommended and not read, many techniques are learnt and not practised, many participants are inspired and not motivated, many coaches are motivated and took no actions.

I am not gripping, I just lost comrades along the way. Not every loss is sad for me. Some I am glad for them. Some I am glad for myself coz I can't fathom why the fuck they choose to coach when they are so brittle or broken or broke. Some I don't really care. I want to put my focus on those who are still believing.

Every coach training and POE coaching is different coz all the people there are different. Generally a new batch of coaches bring in new ideas and the ones who 'survived' and stayed on are either flexible or committed or plain dumb.

Anyone can be put to the test, be in the spotlight, be made a learning aid, be used as an example, be raised to high heaven, be thrown into the Abyss, be a protagonist in my ever expanding range of metaphorical stories, be included or left out of loops, be a target for abuse, be earmarked for bigger roles, be put down for inflated egos, be corrected, maimed, framed, ranged, and what else not in coach training so that you become a good coach to abusive and unappreciative participants. It's all done in a measured and controlled manner even though I push and push and push.

We took a gamble in the 1st coach training and blazed through Steel Rod without anything more than a warm-up induction and a quick briefing by an experienced coach in each group. That means two things:

We just pushed the standard higher. This will be a reference of how fast we can learn Steel Rod Induction, and we didn't even follow the standard script....just stick to counting ...6 you become a steel rod.

We are definitely going to start sharing all the advance stuff (without giving away Mod 2 activities) especially things related to or outside the spectrum of NLP. We are dabbling with EFT, CBT and the like. We will likely to cover energy-work as a result of this accelerated pace. I am excited for the new coaches.

It is my experience that newbies who only attended one training is not likely to be as elevated as we want them to be. My expectation is that you are committed and ready in the eyes of the rest of the team like Shun Jian said. You will realise that I cover all major events in Mod 1 every bloody coach training. Technically, one coach training is all you need but realistically, I prefer to have you for 4 sessions so that we can properly map your profile so that we can help you stretch and challenge you in the most appropriate manner. It's also good that you can fully utilise all the time to build alliance and good relationship with all in the team coz if it has to come down to voting who stays in or out of the team, you stand a better chance.

OK this is getting longer than it should and I wonder how many of you actually get this far. My stand since I started coach training is the same: the Coaching Team welcomes everyone who have done Mod 1 and/or Mod 2 to come learn and share and be a guinea pig. Whether you get inducted into the Team that coaches the current POE or not is dependant largely on the PD and APD. I do have the final say and I mostly will respect the 'command decision'

I prefer all newbies and those who have been away from coaching POE for 3 batches to attend all coach trainings. I expect all who have not attended the current training to understand be able to do all of the things I cover. In the past we had covered Rapport in detail. We are 1.5 years into getting Well-formed Outcome (WFO) into our bones. That's half of the 4 pillars of NLP covered. We are stuck with WFO until we have a bunch of people resource who can do it even while half asleep. Not much training on Sensory Acuity due to that bottle-neck. We have not pushed our Flexibility to the max yet.

I expect mutual support among the coaches. I expect you to walk talk and think like a seasoned NLP Practitioner. We have no patience for low self-esteem. If you have low self-esteem, go deal with it yourself. We expect no less than your best. We expect you to take your coach identity and capabilities into your life outside AKLTG. I expect you to find out how to do some of the things I demonstrated in class but never explained in clear linear fashion. You tell me what I did and I will tell you how I did those and maybe why if I am in a good mood. I expect you people to be in agreement with each other.

IF you find me antagonistic or have no patience with the way I set the training up coz too many things are left unexplained or you don't have a healthy self-image and sense of humour, please stay out. The trainers have resigned to the fact that I have a problem getting everyone to like me. My training style is apparently provocative and I do dig deep and tear open old wounds or make new ones. That's just me I seek your understanding but offer no apologies. If everyone comes for all the training, I don't have to resort to this. This is the best way I know how and those who stuck to the end benefits coz then most of the loops opened are closed by the end of Mod 2.

Before it gets any longer, Just wanna say thanks to all you people for allowing me to indulge in my passion. Lastly, if you have an incessant need to irritate someone else, go deal with it yourself; if you feel offended by the tone of this email or any other in this thread, go deal with it yourself.

We are going to save POE so that we still have a playground. We help get people in the door and maintain the quality of their experience.

For all those who are offended....go fuck yourself or ask the spider for permission coz the 4 fishes went to sea while the horse raced to come back to the same spot. You could have left it at the bank but you are still carrying it with you. This too, shall pass. All I ever did was to tell you "giddy-up!" and you found your way home to the you who is at your very best. I know where to tap.

See you when I see you on Wednesday. It's not the length it's not the size, it's how many times you can make it rise.

Labels: sO pLs dO SiGn uP FoR PoE MoD 1 iF THaT's ReaLly WhAt u WanT FoR YoUrSeLf... =)

3 words 1 meaning iloveyou :D

7:08 PM

♥ Wednesday, February 18, 2009 ♥

It's 440am & i'm updating my blog as elaine is editing my mini-bio & description of key works & theories.
By right i should feel tired now but because of having e sense of achievement(completing mini-bio & description of key works & theories for hmt) makes me awake.
However, I'm also feeling quite down now after Shun Jian told me that Pete is not very happy with me for not going for the coach training.
It sounds as if I choose not to go for tr? In actual fact do I have a choice? Isit wrong now that I'm firm on my decisions & set my priorities right?
It's TRUE that NOBODY will understand y u choose to DO or SAY things in certain ways cause everyone is UNIQUE.
WHY am i so affected by what other things of me? I should learn e HACK CARE attitude when it comes to what people thinks of me but did i? Yes. I'm learning hard. =)
This is e 2nd time i break into tears today or should say i i broke into tears yest morning & this morning since is 4am now? =)
1st i broke ito tears cause i feel that i should treat my mother better.
Nowadays my attitude is getting from bad to worse due to my temper.
1stly it's cause of this few weeks hecticness & i'm learning to manage my anger & stress.
Can somebody please teach me how to? haas...
2ndly, i'm very affected by what Pete thinks of me although he dont even care. Y am I always e silly 1? =)

OKies.

Now come to my own anger & stress managment.
I'll talk rubbish when I'm stressed & tired.
I even screamed at those who give me attitude.
PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR GIVING U ATTITUTE.
I'M LEARNING TO HANDLE MY ANGER.
of course i know it's very rude to do all those stated about but i just cant control.
I destress through venting out- regardless of verbal or through actions.
so if i'm in a very bad mood please saty away from me.
just leave me alone to cool myself down if not i'll shoot u until all my bullets are empty & u will be the 1 who will get injured caused of all that i did...
actaully i just want to go to e beach to stream everything out but do u think i have e time? no. hmt is due tmr. hrm is due next mon. mp test is next thurs. mab test is next next tues.
i'm like dying...
can i just go & die? haas...
is this what u want after all?
do u want to just die after 21 years of living?
do u want to disappoint your beloved mother who had 9 mths trouble having u?
can u be more emotional stronger then what u r?
can u please learn things as fsat as can cause u r living in a fast pace world where no one will always be there for u to take your time & grow...
it's not tt i want what...
i've already learning things as fast as i could yes trust me...
everyone have their own capability...
no one can just change into another person in just 1 night
humans learn through modelling, observing & all these needs time...
frankly speaking this is e 2nd time i did a project in rmit until so late through my schooling days...surprised right?
this shows that i did put my heart & sole into these 2 projects when i really want to
& this also shows that u r not putting enough efforts for other projects that's why u only got a pass or even failed some modules.
CHOICES HAVE CONSEQUENCES
U REAP WHAT U SOW
some ppl might think that it's too late that i'm finally wiser in studies but to me...
IT'S BETTER LATE THEN NEVER
i should be thankful that i still can study a degree despite my family condition & is hould really RESPECT my mother for bringing us up & not ARGUEING WITH HER...
what will u get eventually when u argue with people?
everyone has thair own thinking so do not impose your thinking on other people cause everyone is UNIQUE
people will model u if they like what u r doing or saying w/o u even asking them to do so for their best interest
i think only MOTHERS will keep telling & that's what I am. haha... =p

Ok la. Guess i should stop her le. Now i know why mz feel much better after blogging out her unhappiness. haas...u'll feel emo,cry but only for a short while & u'll regain from it after blogging everything out. heex...

okies. so i shall KEMPATEI for all e upcoming tests & projects!!! YES!!! I CAN DO IT!!! haas...I will have all e resources that i will need during the whole month of February until MArch when i'm researching,drafting,editing my assignments,studying for my tests & when i'm doing my tests =)

& i shall upload all my pics during mar. heex...all e pics tt i've taken during e whole of feb. sorry for e delay but it's better to be late then never... =p